The season for thoughtless gifts? Always has been, apparently...

[acroyear]

Did the Three Kings Bear Gift Receipts? - washingtonpost.com:

When Caspar, Balthazar and Melchior arrived at the manger on the first Christmas, they set a precedent that would withstand the test of time for every Christmas to come. Most of the gifts they brought were, at first glance, terrible.

Caspar, what were you thinking? Myrrh? The resin from a tiny shrub was used for embalming. It would be like presenting your bundle of joy with Dr. Science's Junior Mortuary Kit.

Balthazar hardly did better. His gift of frankincense was the first of many billions of thoughtless perfume presents. If you want to show someone you love them and have less than a minute to shop, buy them perfume.

But fortunately for Caspar and Balthazar, Melchior came through. The third king presented the Holy Family with the gift that classical economics has long suggested is best: gold. In other words, he gave them the money.

The author continues, discussing cash and gift cards:

Some social scientists make the case that too few of us take Melchior's logical step. One survey found that only about 9 percent of Christmas gifts are cash. Gift cards, which are like cash, have been surging in popularity but will probably account for only 5 percent of holiday sales this season. This drives economists crazy for a simple reason. Perhaps the most important tenet of their science is that people know their own preferences best. If you give someone money, she can go out and buy exactly what she wants. If you give her a gift, you may luck out and pick just what she would have purchased herself. Odds are, though, that you'll give her something she values less.

Actually there's also the aspect, for families with "big spenders" in the house (not naming names! ;) ) that there's also the possibility of giving them something that they already have, simply because you haven't been to the house recently to take an assessment.

I'd go into details, but, well, I'm not naming names here...

Comments

[queenmaggie.livejournal.com]

Let me play devil's advocate for the reasoning behind giving gifts, not cash or cards.
Number one, and the reason that I was taught, is that the gift itself is an indication of the thought and effort one puts out on another's behalf. Just giving cash is an easy way to deal with an obligation, not a way of saying 'I care about you, about what you like and I'm willing to spend time to make you happy'

Number two, a gift can be, and often is, something that one would not buy for oneself: an extra pleasure that people often aren't willing to indulge themselves in. I have, in the p[ast, received cash as a gift, and felt that I really ought to save it (just in case) rather than actually getting an item or a service that I would have enjoyed. People sometimes don't provide for themselves things they would value the most because of inhibitions or long taught 'rules' about money management that speak to fears rather than enjoyment.

And thirdly (and least, but still a point IMO) an involved giftgiver can often find items (or just stumble across them during their travels or daily lives) that wouldn't occur to the giftee, or that the giftee had never thought of nor conceived as possibilities.

[acroyear70.livejournal.com]

i probably should have mentioned, the article does go into the positive aspects of gifts vs cash, particularly on the second page. they cite a number of studies that college students would value a gift on average at more than twice what they might actually buy it for on ebay. the fact that it was a gift does add value between individuals, even though it doesn't necessarily add value to it in the open marketplace, as you say here.

(Granted, college students are a limited study group, with an acknowledged bias of restricted income and spending cash - they're more willing to hold out for "more cash" on an item even if it wasn't a gift, and they're very thrifty out of necessity for keeping cash for basics like beer money ;-) ).

as for "I'm willing to spend time to make you happy", this is a tricky place for me (and faireraven as well). yes we're willing to "spend time on someone", but our weekend obligation habits clearly show that we're more likely to want to "spend time with someone" than "on". this, of course, limits the amount of time we have to spending "on" those we can't be "with". (this weekend a case in point: 3 events, 3 different circles, all MDRF related: a Team Wench meeting, Hack-n-Slash's show, and a housewarming party for a certain liar - next weekend's worse with revels, a morris dance tour, o'danny's, latke-fest, and the possibility of an 18th century tea with faire friends @ gadsby's (we're on the waiting list)).

[queenmaggie.livejournal.com]

Wow. I wish we had so many choices! We're rather out of the way for a lot of the events.

[acroyear70.livejournal.com]

that's not to say we're not driving an hour or more for each of these, and (in last night's case) not getting home 'til 2am...

[dawntreader]

see below though, especially for my comment about k's mom and the Michael's gift card we bought her. she was SO happy with it. she carefully placed it in her wallet, scheduled a special trip where she could spend as much time as she wanted in the store, just to pick out whatever she felt like buying that she eventually made (and still has on display).

to say she doesn't indulge in things like that often is an understatement.

i do like well-thought out gifts, but i always feel terrible when i get something i honestly don't like or have no use for. i know it's the thought that counts and such, but where do we put those things in this already crammed apartment? and giving it away just seems like a waste for the gift giver. in those cases, i would have preferred they spend the money on themselves and not on me.

basically, i hate getting presents that say "we felt we had to buy you SOMETHING and this is what we came up with." in those instances, i prefer gift cards to cash. like you, cash i feel like i should save it or do something important with it. but a gift card? it's like being granted permission to indulge yourself. and everyone can benefit from a little of that... especially as a result of someone else's thoughtfulness. not to mention, they always fit! *g*

[dawntreader]

i read an article recently about how a gift card is a "cop out" gift. that you don't know the person well enough to actually bother picking out a present for them, that you just throw a gift card at them and let them do it themselves.

i have issues with this idea. i'm sure for some, a gift card IS a cop out becaues you can't think of anything else. but for some people, a gift card IS the perfect gift. say for the person just moving into a new place... you have NO idea what they need to set up their house, but they will need lots of stuff. with a Target card, they can get new towels, sheets, kitchen supplies, even FOOD if they need it. take keith's mom for example. if you give her cash, she will spend on everyone else. we gave her a Michael's gift card once because she SO enjoys creative projects, crafts, etc., but would never actually go buy stuff like that for herself. again... perfect gift. if people need clothes, they have to try it on before they buy. so? gift card! or better yet, someone who just LOOOVES shopping. gift card! how about Starbuck's junkies? good lord, there's people i know who would think they'd died and gone to heaven after getting a Starbuck's card!

i just don't see why people view the gift card in such a negative light. i wouldn't want to get ALL gift cards or cash for every present, but a well-thought out gift card can still convey the message that you cared enough to select something the recipient would really love.

[acroyear70.livejournal.com]

well, that's certainly how WE took the Home Debot gift cards we got as wedding presents...some of the registry items were a bit pricey, but putting together reasonable cards from reasonable friends, we were able to afford the bigger items and still treat them today as wedding gifts, not as "things we bought".

[faireraven.livejournal.com]

Okay, to an extent I know where you're coming from. To buy someone a specialized gift card for a specific store means you know the type of thing they're looking for, but not the specifics. For example, someone does not necessarily know the type of fabric or yarn I would get at Jo-anns. At least they knew I am the crafty type, and in that respect it is very much appreciated.

On the other hand, if someone just gives a Visa gift card, what does that say?

I will admit, I would love a gift card from JoAnns or Home Depot. On the other hand, if someone got me a gift card for a video store, I'd be kind of annoyed (I am really not the media person my husband is. get a video card for him, not for me), and more likely to re-gift the card to someone else that would appreciate it more.

I like to put thought into things, or at least effort.

This year, I did what I didn't think I would have done in the past: I put out a wish list. Why? Well, while I love my relatives, every year I get a "what do you want?" thing. *sigh* And then my dad has a habit of buying something in front of me and giving it there. Case in point, I already have my present from him. *sigh*

Personally, I don't like knowing how much money someone spent. It's not about the money. If someone got it for a steal, then GREAT! I still don't want to know. *smirk*

[vvalkyri.livejournal.com]

Depends on the person. I've got a whole bunch of gift cards still floating around over several years. Best Buy, Borders...

I never remember I have the things swhen I go to the shop, or I never go to /that/ shop, or the one time I do go to /that/ shop I don't have the card.

And the few times I've used the cards I've used them on gifts for other people.

If someone gives me a gift card it means I appreciate that they've given me something, and I'll probably not get around to deriving any enjoyment out of it. I can't regift it [easily] but at least it doesn't take up much space.


Someone who's always in Borders? Might work. Someone who's always in Best Buy? might work. Someone like me who doesn't tend to really shop? Not so good.

[queenmaggie.livejournal.com]

I can certainly agree with your alternate arguments... I was simply putting up the alternative viewpoint that I felt hadn't been addressed when they talked about market value and maximizing 'happiness'

[scaleslea.livejournal.com]

Actually, if you were a poor jew 2000 years ago, you'd really appreciate all three gifts. Jews of that time were very concerned about having a proper burial and taking their place with God. By giving funerary gifts, the childe wouldn't have to worry about raising the money to buy the things his family would need to give him a proper burial. For the time, these were major gifts.

Doc

[mandrakan.livejournal.com]

If you were an ordinary, poor jew, sure. But this particular childe, of all the children born in Judea, was the one who didn't need a burial.

I thought these were wise men.

[scaleslea.livejournal.com]

We know that now, but I don't think that was ever part of the prophecy.

Makes you wonder what became of it all, though...

Doc