No, I don't know where she is, and I don't care...

[acroyear]

Here's what I really mean by that when people see one of us without the other during the blocks @ faire between our sets, 'cause its actually a very GOOD thing, not a bad thing.

This year, we've practically doubled our performance time, and when you figure in all our time taken walking to & from our set locations (sometimes long distances like boardwalk to 'A' for ratpucking, or globe to boar's head), it means we're together for more of the day than we're apart...

And actually, its one of the reasons that in the afternoon block, 3pm to whenever our last set is, we are APART and stay that way, unless we've agreed its time to catch a show (like how the weather made Chess Match perfect on Monday).

I need room to breathe, to talk to some of my friends that aren't "common" friends (people I only know through faire, aren't guildies, and I've seen every year since 1993), and I need to talk about topics without her garb and wench stuff entering the conversation simply because she's there.

Its not that I can't talk about such things, but I hear the same things regularly as she tells the same stories to different people (and usually its something I first heard when she was telling her father over the cellphone earlier in the week as she's walking in the door)...

and that's reciprocal -- when we're together, she'll hear my stories 20 times over as I mention them to different groups.

So what would happen (and this may be how relationships sour if its not acknowledged and dealt with) is that we hear the same stories and the same jokes 20 million times and we might get sick of it and bored of it and eventually get bored of each other.

So instead, we separate during the day, and give ourselves freedom to talk and be with other people.

Its better to have the freedom of not thinking we're boring each other just because we're working to remain interesting to and involved with our friends.

But it also means that if I'm there and she's not, DON'T ASK. I don't know, and I don't want to know.

Most importantly, I don't need to know. I know who she's going home with, and I am content with that.

Comments

[theresa-grant.livejournal.com]

Jim and I are much the same way. We converge several times during the day but sometimes we just need to break apart and find mischief on our own. It makes dishing about the faire later much more fun, too. :) People act all weird when they see him on one side of faire and me on the other, but it's all okay.

[dawntreader]

thewhitedragon and i are also like that. we run around doing different stuff quite often.

the only problem is that when i hear stories of things he got to do that i didn't get to do! or people he bumped into that i missed out on seeing. i always feel like i "missed" something good that happened at faire!

it's irrational, i know, because i realize you can't do it all. but sometimes i hate "wishing i'd been there to see that!" :)

[faireraven.livejournal.com]

*laugh* That is the one thing with it... By the end of the day, he's telling me how "wow, I ran into X today!" and I never saw them and I've been wanting to see them all season, and... well, you know how that is. :)

There's so much going on with so many people, no matter how full my day winds up being, I always feel like I missed something! :)

[celtink.livejournal.com]

Not to sound like Theresa, not that that's a *bad* thing....BUT

Jim and I are the same way too. *g* I work the booth most of the day and talk to the patrons and friends that come along. He wanders free ranging most of the day and occasionally swings by to say hi and give me a kiss. It works. We catch up with each other at camp after closing and we have different stories from our day to tell.

2 weekends ago two different women felt the need to tell me where they'd last seen him. I didn't ask, not did I want to know. If I ask, then I'm looking for him so yes, tell me if you've seen him. If I don't then no need.

Unehalthy people...

[nvqrjaaajkss.livejournal.com]

say unhealthy things...and most of the time it flies out of their subconscious before their foot can hit their mouth! ;)

I dont if Cyd told you but Im going to carve a "Darwin" paddle...aka: college paddle with the word "darwin" carved into it. ::GRIN::

On that note I just gotta...hey handsome...WHERE'S CYD and do you know she was shamelessly flirting with so-and-s...::NOOOT::

::giggles and runs away::

[faireraven.livejournal.com]

:*

Love you too. ;)

[wilhelmina-d.livejournal.com]

Just to play Devil's Advocate (pardon the phrase), those asking could just be wanting to find her for their own personal reasons and have a hope that you could direct them there.

I do understand the wanting time on your own thing, though. It makes for a better relationship when you take a little time for each other AND a little time for yourself. :)

[acroyear70.livejournal.com]

among wenches/rogues there's a difference between "so where's the other half" (as a polite way of making conversation, just on a topic I utterly disinclined to participate in) vs. "do you know where cyd is right now, 'cause i got such-n-such for her".

I'm used to the latter, but also I usually get warned by cyd ahead of time that something's coming for her.

[pyratelady.livejournal.com]

I get the "where's your better half?" question whenever I show up at places without him. I see it as a harmless way of making conversation, not checking up on me or Glenn. That question opens up small talk about what he's has been up to lately, if he didn't go with me because of some kind of work or fun project that he's involved in.

It's just one of those things when you're part of a couple -- you become the reporter/public relations person for your significant other.

I'm refusing to get prickly over the "have you set a date?" questions, too. It's just a conversation-starter, really.

[acroyear70.livejournal.com]

well, one of my problems with the "where's the better half" is that for all the many things I might have to talk about, particularly at faire and all the things I see that others might miss, is having to weed through the "what is she up to?" speculation (of which, I have no idea, nor do i need or want to find out -- if she's conspiring against me again, I'll know when it happens).

I realize its different in cases where one is at faire without the other, but in our case, we're both there together any day we're there, so in the *one* hour I have to myself, I don't really want to be pummeled with "where is she" questions when I have other things I'd like to talk about.

I'm just trying to make it clear that I don't always want to be the PR person for her (I'm already the PR person for Cat & Fiddle Morris and that's draining enough), at least not at faire.

Where is she? "She's around." I'm saying it now to try to minimize saying it later.