no sadness here...

[acroyear]

capi posted: This time of year seems to bring with it a major downswing in peoples' moods and outlooks, inspiring depression in many. The end of an event of major importance and focus and social interaction (like MDRF) only adds to that feeling, since one can suddenly feel adrift, disconnected, and alone. ... Listening to my friends this week, i see this threatening to kick in, and i wish i could be right there beside each one, with a mug of hot beverage, with a comfy throw, a squooshy couch, and long hours beside the fireplace to just sit together and share.

to which I had to reply that its not that way for me...

maybe its how busy we were

maybe its something else

But i've never felt more at peace with the end of a season. its done, its over, i loved every second of it (except the prop-day from hell).

i have no driving need inside me to go back "1 more week" (much less "9 more weeks").

I will go to CRF relaxed and eager because I wish to give of my dancing skills and my friendship to friends I rarely see, not because I need that one last faire fix. (quite the opposite from the last 4 trips to CRF in the last 5 years -- I missed one because of a wedding)

Maybe its 'cause i'm old. Maybe its 'cause I actually mostly like my day job. Maybe its because I'm trying to discipline myself regarding the house and other work and a 12 weekend block gets in the way of that.

Maybe its because I realized this year that I've achieved everything I wanted for myself at faire, so far...so I need to step away for a few months to build up new skills to take to the festival in 10 months time and grow with. I've got whistles. I've got a bazouki. I've got musical knowledge in my head that astounds people. I've got a voice that got several compliments from "my side of the pub".

Its time to put that together to a new package, and that takes discipline, and it takes stepping away from the stage for a while. As anybody who does shows knows, its very hard to change a set once the show is in production. Minor tweaks here and there, provided you have the time to run through them during the week (I don't). But all the things I want to do I couldn't practice in the middle of the season, nor could I practice during the year before it because of many interruptions of life.

This was, professionally speaking, my most successful season, and a good milestone (my 10th season, where 1 performer hit his 20th, another her 25th).

We're planning to keep life simple next year. Fewer long-distance trips (only 2 committed so far, a sword-dance gathering in NYC, and the July UK2K5 trip to the Welsh Borders which is actually one of the things I want to practice for, as far as singing goes; plus the likelyhood of RPFS on the usual day). Fewer "gotta do this" kinda things. More time at home during weekends. We need to build up being us to each other instead of the "cydnjoe" to the rest of the world.

In other words, aside from the upcoming election, I have more hope in the future than I ever did. But that hope comes from my own talents, my own choices, my making. Cat & Fiddle will be back next year, as stronger performers, stronger individuals, and a stronger couple.

In addition, we'd like to strengthen the friendships we have, without having to go to faire to do it (since faire achieved not quite the opposite but little time to help it outside of the cast/crew we worked with weekly).  Having more weekends free means having weekend nights to just go "hey, wanna go do this", or better still not having to say "yeah, but we have to do this, this, this, and that, and well...".

Now, the year after THAT? well, we'll see. Patters of little feet may intervene with "the usual".

Comments

Re: ::WIDE EYED:::

[nvqrjaaajkss.livejournal.com]

Noooo YOU hush! LOLOL ::SMOOCH::

What I wrote was a POORLY toned ribbing and nothing more. Then after I hit the send key I realized what half your friends and acquantances would porbably do with it not realizing I WAS JOKING. ::shudder::

I already know your plans handsome friend of mine 'cause you were kind enough to share them with me!

::HUGS::