copied verbatim, with respect.

[acroyear]

People Need Walkers Licenses : Dispatches from the Culture Wars:

Beware, this is going to be a pissy rant. My trip to Vegas has so far reminded me that just as we require licenses and the training that precedes before you drive a car on a busy interstate, we really should require walking lessons before we allow people to walk in a crowded indoor space like a casino or a supermarket.

During walker's training, we could teach that people that, believe it or not, the middle of a walking thoroughfare full of people is not the appropriate place to stop and take a picture of your husband with your daughter on his shoulders. It's also not the appropriate place to stop and berate your child for being a brat. You really should know this already.

I've noticed several different types of offenders that either need to be retrained or eliminated:

The slack-jawed yokels: These are the folks just moseying along, looking at everything but where they're going and what is going on around them that they might have to react to. They don't notice the obstacles in front of them so they invariably end up careening off their path and making you stop on a dime lest you run into them (which you can do because, unlike them, you're actually paying attention to what is going on in front of you).

The texters: These people are as bad as the idiots who try to smoke in airplane bathrooms. Seriously, you can't wait 5 freaking minutes to tell your friend "LOL c u ltr, k thx bye"? Like the yokels above, they pay no attention at all to where they're walking and thus end up bringing everything behind them to a halt when they can't avoid the person in the wheelchair.

The families: Look folks, this is simple -- don't take your kids to Vegas. Especially if you have nine of them. You're only annoying the rest of the world as you try to wrangle your herd through a crowded walkway while Britney is crying and Justin wants a toy and Kristen is smacking her little brother in the head with her doll. Leave them at home. And stay there with them, please. And by the way, doorways are not the place to call impromptu family meetings and form a huddle like a football team.

The Wanderers: These people seem to have no place to go at all, yet they insist on going...somewhere. They walk at half the speed of everyone else and can't seem to stay on a single path, suddenly deciding for no apparent reason to step into the faster line of traffic to their right or left, with the result being similar to a multicar pileup on the highway.

I hate them all and I want them to go away.

Comments

[eac.livejournal.com]

My summary - Vegas is a town designed for tourists. No really, tourists. All of these are tourist types. If you don't like tourists, don't go to Vegas.

[dawntreader]

lol, pretty much.

when i visited my friends in NYC, i got a lesson from them on how to walk. walk fast! faster than you have ever walked in your entire life. if you want to slow down or stop and look at anything, move aside out of walking traffic or you will be walked over. if you suddenly stop to look up at something, people will mow you down.

it's pretty simple.

[queenmaggie.livejournal.com]

Actually, Boston people walk faster than NYC people, it's been studied.
I also know this =because I get impatient with the speed of the walkers in NYC. Can you imagine how awful it is here in FL? I did all my Christmas shopping online, except for Tuesday and Wednesday mornings when no one else can get out of work.

[acroyear70.livejournal.com]

i took it in stride this year. like Ed, my "shopping mall in christmas time" defenses kicked in and I was fine.

Those defenses have only really failed me once: St. Marks square in Venice. There, the chaos is such that you can't even qualify the population types as you can above.

[voltbang.livejournal.com]

One type was left of the list.

The Important: These people have somewhere very important to be, and have to get there in a hurry because they were busy dealing with another vitally important task that they just couldn't get away from. Usually, they have people who clear a path for them to get where they are going, but today they are stuck dealing with the little people who get in their way.