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Hey dawntreader90
Nov. 12th, 2007 01:48 pmare you finished yet?
sheesh...I think this is a single-day record.
sheesh...I think this is a single-day record.
Nov. 12th, 2007
geeze, I want my 20 year reunion NOW
Nov. 12th, 2007 08:33 pmXM Radio has been playing "TAG" among the stations and right now, the 80s channel is "IT". This means that they've been running through the biggest hits of their playlist, in chronological order, from the 1930s to today.
We noticed it and started listening Friday night on our way down to CRF, where they were in mid 1984. On the way home, it was October and November 1986.
In a couple of days, they'll "TAG" the 90s channel to take over.
But right now, it's January 1988 and I'm a senior in high school and the flashbacks have been increasingly overwhelming and I'm increasingly hyped about my upcoming 20th anniversary high school reunion which is coming up next year.
It's not really that sense of "closure", of proving I wasn't the shy child I appeared to most at the time, 'cause I got that at my 10 year by rather confidently showing up in my full Scottish dress (granted, before the wedding kilt, so I look even better in it now than then ;) ).
Now, it's different. I've lived a life for the past 10 years in the rennie circuit where friends have crossed that line from being "high school friends" and "college buddies" to "timeless". I've got people across this country and in foreign countries (well, if an American can call Australia and the UK foreign these days) that I have no doubt now will be part of my life for years to come, not arbitrarily disconnected within 4 years 'cause of some logistical limitation enforced by a school environment. It's a different feeling, but it's one that might not be noticed since it grows so gradually.
It really sticks out now that I have the choice of where I live and for how long, which as a child at the time I never knew what that was like. Today, I see that I have had choices of where to find my friends, and know, more deeply than you all could possibly imagine, that I chose well.
I know there's that recurring joke in the Verizon commercials about people standing there, surrounded by a hundred others that represent their "network", but that's exactly how I feel right now, that when I show up at that reunion, this network of the 500+ people I could name in a heartbeat (and the thousand more I keep forgetting the name of) are right there with me.
Belinda Carlisle may have "gotten weak" 20 years ago (as the song playing right now expresses, 6 songs since I started this post), but today I feel strong, chest-cold not withstanding. Stronger, emotionally, than I've ever felt before.
I know damn well I don't tell you all I love you nearly enough, but It's true. That love is as strong, perhaps stronger, as the love I had for those 20 years ago who saw through the insecurities to see the real person inside (of them, only one I keep in touch with consistently) but 20 years ago, those insecurities made it impossible for me to share it.
Today, I hope I can. I am who I am because of my parents, my friends in Orange Park Florida 25 years ago, my friends in Fairfax Virginia 20 years ago, my friends in Harrisonburg Virginia 15 years ago, and the friendships that have built up in the last 14 since graduation, when I was *really* the one in control over where I would live.
I see this reunion differently than I saw the one 10 years ago. 10 years ago, I was carrying the confidence of what your collective love (those of you who knew me then) had built up in me. Today, it's different. I now know how to just "have one hell of a good time" encompassing the past while embracing the present in a way I never knew was possible before. And it's THAT feeling that I want to take back with me. THAT is the feeling you give me, every day we're together, online or in person.
I now look back at the people from my class and see not their faults nor their cliques. I see people who were struggling as much as I was, if perhaps better able to hide it, and I can love them for who they really are, as I love you all for who you really are.
David Lee Roth is now singing about "Living in Paradise" and he "don't want to go home".
Today, I can say I live in Paradise. But it's home. A large home, with its messes to be sure, but it's home.
20 years ago, I had no idea what "home" was. I thought I did; I thought I did 4 years before when I left Florida for the last time.
Today, I see I had no idea. You all have shown me that idea of HOME on a scale I couldn't possibly have imagined, and I thank you for it.
"Be still my beating heart" as Sting says, indeed.
My heart goes nutso every time I see you. ALL of you.
Know that you are loved. Always. Because I know I have that choice to love forever, a choice I didn't know I had 20 years ago. And that's exactly what I'm going to do.
We noticed it and started listening Friday night on our way down to CRF, where they were in mid 1984. On the way home, it was October and November 1986.
In a couple of days, they'll "TAG" the 90s channel to take over.
But right now, it's January 1988 and I'm a senior in high school and the flashbacks have been increasingly overwhelming and I'm increasingly hyped about my upcoming 20th anniversary high school reunion which is coming up next year.
It's not really that sense of "closure", of proving I wasn't the shy child I appeared to most at the time, 'cause I got that at my 10 year by rather confidently showing up in my full Scottish dress (granted, before the wedding kilt, so I look even better in it now than then ;) ).
Now, it's different. I've lived a life for the past 10 years in the rennie circuit where friends have crossed that line from being "high school friends" and "college buddies" to "timeless". I've got people across this country and in foreign countries (well, if an American can call Australia and the UK foreign these days) that I have no doubt now will be part of my life for years to come, not arbitrarily disconnected within 4 years 'cause of some logistical limitation enforced by a school environment. It's a different feeling, but it's one that might not be noticed since it grows so gradually.
It really sticks out now that I have the choice of where I live and for how long, which as a child at the time I never knew what that was like. Today, I see that I have had choices of where to find my friends, and know, more deeply than you all could possibly imagine, that I chose well.
I know there's that recurring joke in the Verizon commercials about people standing there, surrounded by a hundred others that represent their "network", but that's exactly how I feel right now, that when I show up at that reunion, this network of the 500+ people I could name in a heartbeat (and the thousand more I keep forgetting the name of) are right there with me.
Belinda Carlisle may have "gotten weak" 20 years ago (as the song playing right now expresses, 6 songs since I started this post), but today I feel strong, chest-cold not withstanding. Stronger, emotionally, than I've ever felt before.
I know damn well I don't tell you all I love you nearly enough, but It's true. That love is as strong, perhaps stronger, as the love I had for those 20 years ago who saw through the insecurities to see the real person inside (of them, only one I keep in touch with consistently) but 20 years ago, those insecurities made it impossible for me to share it.
Today, I hope I can. I am who I am because of my parents, my friends in Orange Park Florida 25 years ago, my friends in Fairfax Virginia 20 years ago, my friends in Harrisonburg Virginia 15 years ago, and the friendships that have built up in the last 14 since graduation, when I was *really* the one in control over where I would live.
I see this reunion differently than I saw the one 10 years ago. 10 years ago, I was carrying the confidence of what your collective love (those of you who knew me then) had built up in me. Today, it's different. I now know how to just "have one hell of a good time" encompassing the past while embracing the present in a way I never knew was possible before. And it's THAT feeling that I want to take back with me. THAT is the feeling you give me, every day we're together, online or in person.
I now look back at the people from my class and see not their faults nor their cliques. I see people who were struggling as much as I was, if perhaps better able to hide it, and I can love them for who they really are, as I love you all for who you really are.
David Lee Roth is now singing about "Living in Paradise" and he "don't want to go home".
Today, I can say I live in Paradise. But it's home. A large home, with its messes to be sure, but it's home.
20 years ago, I had no idea what "home" was. I thought I did; I thought I did 4 years before when I left Florida for the last time.
Today, I see I had no idea. You all have shown me that idea of HOME on a scale I couldn't possibly have imagined, and I thank you for it.
"Be still my beating heart" as Sting says, indeed.
My heart goes nutso every time I see you. ALL of you.
Know that you are loved. Always. Because I know I have that choice to love forever, a choice I didn't know I had 20 years ago. And that's exactly what I'm going to do.