The Onion gets a 3 for 3 today

Poverty Rate Jumps | The Onion - America's Finest News Source | American Voices:

The U.S. Census Bureau found that during 2009 the number of Americans living in poverty increased from 39.8 million to 43.6 million. What do you think?

• Rick McKenzie Account Executive: "Yeah, that seems about right. Over the past year, I guess there have been a few hundred thousand more street people that I have to pretend not to notice on my walk to work."
  
  
• Annie Watson Nib Adjuster: "I'm shocked. I thought poverty was something that happened to other countries that systematically obliterated their middle class, but not us."
  
  
• Michael Stapleton Reactor Operator: "Quick, print another 4.8 million copies of Atlas Shrugged."