Another "too close to the truth" onion

[acroyear]

Red Meat May Spell Early Death | The Onion - America's Finest News Source:

A federal study revealed that middle-aged Americans who ate red meat at least once a day were 30 percent more likely to die during the 10 years researchers followed them. What do you think?

with the first (and best) reply being:

"This research may actually push Americans to adopt new habits, such as calling red meat something else."

Comments

[capi.livejournal.com]

hahahahahaha!!

I'm a carnivore.

Period. I like meat, and that's the way it is.

I will die when it's time for me to die. I am not sorry about that. We all die. We all die when it's time for us to die. What's the big deal?

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

I'd like to think that I have some influence on when I die, that it's not already written in some astrally located stone.

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

You know how many meat packagers fill the meat package with nitrogen or carbon monoxide to keep the meat looking fresh and red? Normally meat turns a little brown or gray in the presence of oxygen, even if it's still fresh. Maybe they'll stop packaging with the gases?

Of course, Dr. Seuss knew years ago that we were better eating green eggs and ham...

[klytus.livejournal.com]

Remember - red meat is not bad for you... green fuzzy meat is.