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the movies that suck list...
Not every movie is worthy of an Oscar. Hell, some movies aren't worthy of anything much but scorn and derision. The Razzies were born in 1981 and as long was we are all copping to the great movies we've seen, let's fess up to the not-so-great ones we've watched... either in a theater or in the private shame of our homes by highlighting them in bold.
Mind you, not all of these in theaters (those I italicized), the rest were usually just HBO back when there wasn't much else to watch on TV in the long afternoons except MTV, or in the R-rated case in the 80s, sneaking to watch them after the parents went to bed...
1980. Can't Stop the Music, Cruising, The Formula, Friday the 13th, The Jazz Singer, The Nude Bomb, Raise the Titanic, Saturn 3, Windows, Xanadu
1981. Endless Love; Heaven's Gate; The Legend of the Lone Ranger; Tarzan, the Ape Man; Mommie Dearest
1982. Annie, Butterfly, Megaforce, The Pirate Movie, Inchon
1983. Hercules, Jaws 3-D, Stroker Ace, Two of a Kind, The Lonely Lady
1984. Cannonball Run II, Rhinestone, Sheena, Where the Boys Are '84, Bolero
1985. Fever Pitch, Revolution, Rocky IV, Year of the Dragon, Rambo: First Blood Part II
1986. Blue City, Cobra, Shanghai Surprise, Howard the Duck, Under the Cherry Moon
1987. Ishtar, Jaws: The Revenge, Tough Guys Don't Dance, Who's That Girl, Leonard Part 6
1988. Caddyshack II, Hot to Trot, Mac and Me, Rambo III, Cocktail
1989. The Karate Kid, Part III; Lock Up; Road House; Speed Zone!; Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
1990. The Bonfire of the Vanities, Graffiti Bridge, Rocky V, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Ghosts Can't Do It
1991. Cool as Ice, Dice Rules, Nothing But Trouble, Return to the Blue Lagoon, Hudson Hawk
1992. The Bodyguard, Christopher Columbus: The Discovery, Final Analysis, Newsies, Shining Through
1993. Body of Evidence, Cliffhanger, Last Action Hero, Sliver, Indecent Proposal
1994. North, On Deadly Ground, The Specialist, Wyatt Earp, Color of Night
1995. Congo, It's Pat, The Scarlet Letter, Waterworld, Showgirls
1996. Barb Wire, Ed, The Island of Dr. Moreau, The Stupids, Striptease
1997. Anaconda, Batman & Robin, Fire Down Below, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Postman
1998. Armageddon, The Avengers, Godzilla, Spice World, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn
1999. Big Daddy, The Blair Witch Project, The Haunting, Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace, Wild Wild West
2000. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Little Nicky, The Next Best Thing, Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000
2001. 3000 Miles to Graceland, Driven, Glitter, Pearl Harbor, Freddy Got Fingered
2002. The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Crossroads, Pinocchio, Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones, Swept Away
2003. The Cat in the Hat, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle*, From Justin to Kelly, The Real Cancun, Gigli
2004. Alexander, SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2, Surviving Christmas, White Chicks, Catwoman
2005. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, The Dukes of Hazzard, House of Wax, Son of the Mask, Dirty Love
2006. BloodRayne, Lady in the Water, Little Man, The Wicker Man, Basic Instinct 2
2007. Bratz, Daddy Day Camp, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Norbit, I Know Who Killed Me
2008. The Happening, The Hottie & the Nottie, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Disaster Movie, The Love Guru
I note the leveling off towards the end (none from 2003-onward) as I simply started spending my time more carefully...glimpses on HBO of some (like Cat in the Hat) reaffirmed my decision to not bother.
Of all of those, the only one that saddened me was Cannonball Run II - the first film was a piece of brilliance in how all the actors were satirizing themselves and the worst stereotypes that the critics accused them of (which, of course, meant the critics didn't get the joke and panned the movie anyways). The second was just sad.
Of those on the list that I think don't desrve to be on it? nevermind, there aren't any. Newsies comes close...I guess I was just a touch too old to appreciate it at the time. I'm older now so maybe I should give it another chance?
BTW, where the hell was Breakin' Two, Electric Boogaloo?
Lone Ranger had potential, but just fell horribly flat. I really wonder if Disney can actually get their new one to bite, given how few other westerns have done anything since Unforgiven.
Some of those we own but haven't really sat down to watch. Same with the oscar nods list.
For the Best Picture nods, it's better I just list them without the whole bolding thing, 'cause there ain't that many:
Chariots of Fire (one of my all-time favs), Raiders, ET, Tootsie, Right Stuff, Amadeus, Killing Fields, Dangerous Liaisons, Driving Miss Daisy, Dead Poets Society, Field of Dreams, Awakenings, Beauty and the Beast, Fugitive, Forrest Gump (I've seen every scene - I just don't know if I've ever seen it all in order, and certainly never in one sitting), Four Weddings and a Funeral, Braveheart, Apollo 13, Titanic (just like Gump, never all in one sitting), Shakespeare in Love, Elizabeth, Saving Private Ryan (again, never in one sitting), Couching Tiger (only 'cause it was on the plane), LotR: Fellowship, Moulin Rouge (need to see that again), LotR: Two Towers, LotR: RotK, Master & Commander (on the plane - we own it but haven't watched it since), Finding Neverland, Good Night and Good Luck (on the plane)
and that's it (ok, maybe more than I thought). of the recent ones, only Frost/Nixon interests me, but not enough to not wait for HBO.
Mind you, not all of these in theaters (those I italicized), the rest were usually just HBO back when there wasn't much else to watch on TV in the long afternoons except MTV, or in the R-rated case in the 80s, sneaking to watch them after the parents went to bed...
1980. Can't Stop the Music, Cruising, The Formula, Friday the 13th, The Jazz Singer, The Nude Bomb, Raise the Titanic, Saturn 3, Windows, Xanadu
1981. Endless Love; Heaven's Gate; The Legend of the Lone Ranger; Tarzan, the Ape Man; Mommie Dearest
1982. Annie, Butterfly, Megaforce, The Pirate Movie, Inchon
1983. Hercules, Jaws 3-D, Stroker Ace, Two of a Kind, The Lonely Lady
1984. Cannonball Run II, Rhinestone, Sheena, Where the Boys Are '84, Bolero
1985. Fever Pitch, Revolution, Rocky IV, Year of the Dragon, Rambo: First Blood Part II
1986. Blue City, Cobra, Shanghai Surprise, Howard the Duck, Under the Cherry Moon
1987. Ishtar, Jaws: The Revenge, Tough Guys Don't Dance, Who's That Girl, Leonard Part 6
1988. Caddyshack II, Hot to Trot, Mac and Me, Rambo III, Cocktail
1989. The Karate Kid, Part III; Lock Up; Road House; Speed Zone!; Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
1990. The Bonfire of the Vanities, Graffiti Bridge, Rocky V, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Ghosts Can't Do It
1991. Cool as Ice, Dice Rules, Nothing But Trouble, Return to the Blue Lagoon, Hudson Hawk
1992. The Bodyguard, Christopher Columbus: The Discovery, Final Analysis, Newsies, Shining Through
1993. Body of Evidence, Cliffhanger, Last Action Hero, Sliver, Indecent Proposal
1994. North, On Deadly Ground, The Specialist, Wyatt Earp, Color of Night
1995. Congo, It's Pat, The Scarlet Letter, Waterworld, Showgirls
1996. Barb Wire, Ed, The Island of Dr. Moreau, The Stupids, Striptease
1997. Anaconda, Batman & Robin, Fire Down Below, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Postman
1998. Armageddon, The Avengers, Godzilla, Spice World, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn
1999. Big Daddy, The Blair Witch Project, The Haunting, Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace, Wild Wild West
2000. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Little Nicky, The Next Best Thing, Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000
2001. 3000 Miles to Graceland, Driven, Glitter, Pearl Harbor, Freddy Got Fingered
2002. The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Crossroads, Pinocchio, Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones, Swept Away
2003. The Cat in the Hat, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle*, From Justin to Kelly, The Real Cancun, Gigli
2004. Alexander, SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2, Surviving Christmas, White Chicks, Catwoman
2005. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, The Dukes of Hazzard, House of Wax, Son of the Mask, Dirty Love
2006. BloodRayne, Lady in the Water, Little Man, The Wicker Man, Basic Instinct 2
2007. Bratz, Daddy Day Camp, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Norbit, I Know Who Killed Me
2008. The Happening, The Hottie & the Nottie, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Disaster Movie, The Love Guru
I note the leveling off towards the end (none from 2003-onward) as I simply started spending my time more carefully...glimpses on HBO of some (like Cat in the Hat) reaffirmed my decision to not bother.
Of all of those, the only one that saddened me was Cannonball Run II - the first film was a piece of brilliance in how all the actors were satirizing themselves and the worst stereotypes that the critics accused them of (which, of course, meant the critics didn't get the joke and panned the movie anyways). The second was just sad.
Of those on the list that I think don't desrve to be on it? nevermind, there aren't any. Newsies comes close...I guess I was just a touch too old to appreciate it at the time. I'm older now so maybe I should give it another chance?
BTW, where the hell was Breakin' Two, Electric Boogaloo?
Lone Ranger had potential, but just fell horribly flat. I really wonder if Disney can actually get their new one to bite, given how few other westerns have done anything since Unforgiven.
Some of those we own but haven't really sat down to watch. Same with the oscar nods list.
For the Best Picture nods, it's better I just list them without the whole bolding thing, 'cause there ain't that many:
Chariots of Fire (one of my all-time favs), Raiders, ET, Tootsie, Right Stuff, Amadeus, Killing Fields, Dangerous Liaisons, Driving Miss Daisy, Dead Poets Society, Field of Dreams, Awakenings, Beauty and the Beast, Fugitive, Forrest Gump (I've seen every scene - I just don't know if I've ever seen it all in order, and certainly never in one sitting), Four Weddings and a Funeral, Braveheart, Apollo 13, Titanic (just like Gump, never all in one sitting), Shakespeare in Love, Elizabeth, Saving Private Ryan (again, never in one sitting), Couching Tiger (only 'cause it was on the plane), LotR: Fellowship, Moulin Rouge (need to see that again), LotR: Two Towers, LotR: RotK, Master & Commander (on the plane - we own it but haven't watched it since), Finding Neverland, Good Night and Good Luck (on the plane)
and that's it (ok, maybe more than I thought). of the recent ones, only Frost/Nixon interests me, but not enough to not wait for HBO.
no subject
no subject
Megaforce is one of those "It's so bad it's good" films for me. I remember a former coworker waxing poetic about this film. It is also pure young boy crack. I bet I could show it to my son and he'd think it was the greatest movie ever.
I actually think Hudson Hawk is a great film. Completely whacked, but great in its insanity. I also don't think Last Action Hero is a bad film.
I also notice you have a lot of "This is just an excuse to get Bo Derek naked" films on your list....
Some movies I'd add to the list: Superfuzz (a staple for me on HBO in the early 80s), The Return of Captain Invincible (a superhero musical. I actually own it on VHS.), The Wraith, Spacehunter: Adventure In The Forbidden Zone (which I saw in the theater in 3D), Ice Pirates. I'm sure there are more.
My sister was the master of collecting bad movies. She used to go to Erols and buy up a bunch of their very cheap stock that they were trying to get rid of. The one that I remember the most about was "My Demon Lover".
As for your best pictures, as a runner you'd think I'd love Chariots Of Fire, but it just left me cold.
no subject
If Chariots of Fire was just about the running, that would be one thing. The key to Chariots is the same story, relatively speaking, as Jesse Owens in '36: how do you as a culture and nation react when your national hero is someone who you've otherwise treated as an outsider his entire life. On the English side, it deals directly with the loss of the immortality and invincibility of the Victorian age, with this new (again) idea that if England is going to continue to be great, someone's going to have to work for it. It's also heavily about the role of faith in personal identity (something I've been struggling with for the last 8 years), contrasting the man whose faith overrides peoples expectations of his choices (Liddle) with a man who doesn't want his heritage to overwhelm the identity he's trying to build, but living in a society that refuses to separate them.
It wasn't your typical sports film, of the underdog hero making the big catch and saving the day. It was far the more other end: showing men of character, worthy of respect and emulation, who just happen to be runners who won in '24.
Does that make it kinda boring compared to other sports films? Probably. There are many that hate Hoosiers (or even Field of Dreams when contrasted with Bull Durham) for the same reason, but it's another film I happen to love.