Onion American Voices goes 3 for 3 today...

[acroyear]

Apple Has More Cash Than U.S. Treasury | The Onion - America's Finest News Source | American Voices:

Well, the user experience in this country is just terrible.

Lou Gajda
Cable Splicer

Great, so why don't we sell them a couple of aircraft carriers and we'll be back in black.

Sonya Howland
Film Flat Inspector

This is why I took all my money out of U.S. currency and put it into safe, stable iTunes gift cards.

Philip Keeton
Yeast-Culture Developer